How to Actually Make $100 Million in Passive Profit

by Jared A. Brock | Oct 3, 2023

Today I’m going to show you exactly how to make nearly $1 million per year and become a multi-deca-millionaire, if not a centa-millionaire.

It’s an easy, simple, step-by-step system anyone can use to amass unimaginable wealth without having to do ANY work at all.

Ready?

Here we go:

Step 1:

Buy a 3-5 bedroom house. On credit, of course. (But don’t worry, you won’t personally pay back a cent.)

Step 2:

Hire an underpaid drywaller to turn the living room and dining room into two bedrooms each.

Step 3:

Hire an underpaid carpenter to install 6–8 bunks in each of your 7–10 rooms. Make sure they’re slightly larger than the smallest known bunk bed so you can advertise them as premium-sized.

Step 4:

Decrease your monthly expenses and insurance risk by removing the house’s laundry machine, the stove, the oven, and the dishwasher.

A toaster, microwave, and maybe a hot plate is all these people deserve, anyway. (After all, if they were hard workers they wouldn’t be renters, would they?)

Step 5:

Figure out how much the average apartment and room rents for in your area. Price your bunkbeds at 10–20% cheaper.

Step 6:

Advertising your new bunk rentals. Give them a cool name like “co-living suites” or “executive sleep pods.”

Be sure to forbid pets, parking, babies, etc. (And cooking if the real estate market is tight and renters are really desperate in your area.)

Try to sell your crappy and cramped co-living arrangement as hip and progressive. Call it eco-friendly. Call it a chance to meet new people.

And don’t forget to make your new venture sound like a world-changing charity. Come up with a mission statement. Make claims so absurd that people are downright confused but go along with it because they don’t want to seem stupid.

DO NOT sign any leases with your new tenants. You don’t want to commit yourself to a locked-in price. Call your rent “flexible” to make it sound more appealing. This will allow you to evict and raise rents as often as economically possible.

Okay, let’s count your cash money!

6–8 bunks
x 7–10 rooms
x $500–900/month
x 12 months
= $252,000-$864,000 per year.

This is amazing for several reasons:

• Because you commercialized a home by stealing so much worker wealth, your house just skyrocketed in resale price.
• Because you’re “earning” so much rent per room and unit, all the other land-lorders in the area will start to raise their prices, which will allow you to re-raise your prices. Spiraling up!

Step 7:

Now obviously you don’t want to create any new usable wealth for society, nor do you want to contribute any value to the lives of others — and you certainly don’t want to work or sweat — so this is the point where you hire an underpaid worker to cut the grass, unclog toilets, do repairs, etc.

While you’re at it, why not just hire an underpaid management company to take care of everything for you, including billing renters? After all, there’s nothing worse than having to actually see your victims every month. Ick!

Step 8:

Let’s assume you spend 50% of your tenants’ rent money on the mortgage, repairs, and the underpaid serfs who do the actual work. That leaves you with $125,000-$430,000 per year in net profits.

At this point, there’s only one thing to do: Rinse and repeat.

That’s right: Now it’s time to scalp a second house. Land-lording is like buying and hoarding Taylor Swift concert tickets to jack the price, except shelter is life-or-death so you can squeeze way more money out of people.

The beauty is that you’ve got so much renter money to play with that you can outbid nearly any would-be homeowner for a house. So you’re killing two birds with one stone: By taking a second house off the market, your synthetic demand raises house prices for everyone else and ensures one more family remains rent-trapped. They might even end up as your renter!

Optional Step 9:

Let’s say you think of yourself as a “good” or “moral” person, or a “responsible citizen,” or even a church-going “Christian,” but you don’t like how people react when they learn you’re a land-lorder.

You have two ways to respond:

A.) Pretend to be generous. Give a tiny portion of the massive profits you harvested from working tenants to your favorite charities, and do so publicly so your friends see that you’re “giving back.” (If you’re a Christian, call it “stewardship” and start discipling others in how to be better “stewards.”)

B.) Really lay it on thick by telling everyone you meet that you’re “providing housing” for others and that you’re evening doing it for “less than market rent.”

Your friends will be seriously impressed. What a guy/gal. He/she is entrepreneurial, hard-working, generous, charitable, and merciful?

You really are pretty amazing.

If anyone ever brings up the truth — that you’re a wicked, evil, greedy house-hoarding feudal parasite who contributes zero new value to society while holding shelter hostage in exchange for someone’s work-created wealth — just roll your eyes and write them off as jealous, small-minded, “communists.”

(Obviously, banning shelter parasitism isn’t communism. Communism actually has a real definition — government ownership of all property — but just bandying around the C-word will freak people out and get them back on your side.)

Step 10:

Stay the course, comrade. Hold the fort. Re-invest in buying more and more houses to commercialize. Keep going until you have a seven, eight, or ideally nine-figure portfolio.

Maybe even start a company that helps others turn their houses into commercialized renter cells, too. (Paying you a fat commission, of course.)

Defend yourself against potential loss by only ever voting for rent-seeking corporatists who will continue to aggressively advance the neo-feudalist agenda:

• If you live in America, vote for Democrats and Republicans.
• If you live in the UK, vote for Labour or Lib-Dem or the Cons.
• If you live in Canada, vote for Cons or Libs or NDP or Green — all four parties are ram-packed with fellow land-lorders who will never vote against your interests!

Once you’re ready to retire, sell your whole real estate portfolio to a hedge fund or a private equity giant for a multiple.

Let’s say you monopolized forty houses. That’s potentially $16+ million per year in profits, plus the actual value of the commercialized houses. A decade or two from now, there’s an extremely good chance they’ll pay you $100,000,000 for all the hard “work” “you” did.

From there, you can retire to the countryside or a penthouse overlooking Central Park, resting safely in the knowledge that you didn’t hurt or exploit anyone, didn’t make life miserable for hundreds of families, didn’t play an active role in making life unnecessarily more expensive for everyone on earth by commercializing shelter, and totally won’t burn in hell for disobeying the Bible’s commands to not charge interest, not hoard property, and not profit off the poor.

The end.

This article was inspired by Brownstone, one of the hundreds of new rent-seeking parasite startups that turn would-be family homes into commercialized tenant prisons:

Friends, don’t miss the writing on the wall:

The middle class’s bleak future = co-living with strangers.

You are Big Finance’s final frontier.

Capitalism demands efficiency — efficient profits delivered straight to shareholder pockets.

That’s why, within our lifetime, well over half the nation will be renting houses instead of owning houses, renting rooms instead of renting homes, and renting beds instead of renting rooms.

Welcome to the rental ratchet.

Never forget: Land-lorders will not be stopped until they are stopped.

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