Biden finally visits East Palestine, asks, “Where is Hamas? Where is Yasser Arafat?”

by | Feb 26, 2023

38 days after the train disaster in Ohio, President Biden finally made a brief visit to East Palestine.

He immediately asked where Hamas was, and indicated he was supposed to sit down and talk with the late Palestinian leader, Yasser Arafat.

Aides tried to usher the President back into his limo, but Biden refused. “I’ve got to show my guts,” he said. “This is dangerous territory and I’m not going to run away. I’m not scared. I grew up as a boy around many Palestinians, and they took me into their homes.”

The small press group accompanying the President asked him questions, hoping to steer him back on track:

“What do you think about the train derailment, sir?”

“The EPA says the water is safe to drink. Are you going to take a sip?”

“Should freight trains be allowed to carry hazardous materials through small towns?”

Biden said, “You’re not going to rope me into a discussion of hazmat terrorist attacks. The whole point of my conference with Hamas is de-escalating violence in the region. We still have friends in Israel, you know.”

An awkward silence followed.

Mary Moffet (formerly Mark Mason), a reporter for the New York Times, said, “Mr. President, a train spilled vinyl chloride here in OHIO, and a few of the residents are still concerned.”

“I know that,” Mr. Biden snapped. “The State Department told them to leave the country and come back to the US, but they refused. It’s not our fault.”

An aide grabbed the President by the shoulder and led him away from the reporters. After a brief conversation, Biden walked back to the group.

“You know,” he said, “I visit many countries, and sometimes my briefers supply me with the wrong schedule. Of course I know there was a train accident here, and people who were commuting from work were injured. It’s possible the safety latches on the train doors malfunctioned, and people were thrown clear when the brakes were applied. We’re going to look into that.”

Another awkward silence.

Biden continued: “Pete, my transportation secretary, was here. He assures me guidelines for equity, diversity, and inclusion will be followed in hiring people to do train repairs and clean-up. So there are job opportunities for local residents. I’m always asked, ‘What if the local population is basically white?’ And I always answer, ‘That’s what immigration is for.’”

Jill Biden, wearing what looked like a curtain from a hotel conference room, stepped forward and put her arm around the President. She said, “During my medical training, I studied these chemicals. They disperse rapidly, but they can cause temporary disorientation, particularly if a person hasn’t been getting enough sleep. The President has been on a whirlwind tour. His trip to the Ukraine was very emotional. No more questions, please.”

And that was Mr. Biden’s visit to East Palestine.

Politico called it as disaster. The Washington Post hinted that Democratic Party leaders were setting the President up, in order to show he shouldn’t seek a second term.

According to the LA Times, California Governor and Presidential-hopeful, Gavin Newsom, is set to travel to East Palestine. He’ll be bringing a group of youths, trained in “salvage and environmental repair,” who recently entered the country from Malaysia and Nigeria.

Vice President Harris told the Times, “Gavin is staging one of his political stunts. He’s exasperating [sic] an already volatile situation. If he thinks this is going to elevate his chances of winning the White House in 2024, he’s…of course, President Biden has first call on the job, because he already has the job. Once you have a job, it’s yours to keep, if you perform well. We have laws in this country about firing people for no cause. That’s everything in the law. Everything is geared toward equity, which is a signature Biden accomplishment…”

TMZ: “In Washington, there are rumors claiming both President Biden and Vice President Harris are being quietly treated for exhaustion at Camp David.”

Senator Ted Cruz told the NY Post’s Page Six, “The whole frigging country should be at Camp David. We’re all exhausted by what the President and Vice President have been doing for the past two years.”

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